It was quite frightening; you hear stories about women shouting out in God knows how much pain. And while I was expecting Ryan, my sister lost a baby at 28 weeks and a friend had a scan showing her baby was spina bifida. It made me nervous.I planned to go to hospital and go with the flow. Some women say, "I'm not having an epidural", but at the end of the day doctors and midwives, they know best. My husband was with me throughout.Beforehand I was worried about what he'd see, from that end He saw more of me that day than he ever has. I thought it was going to be degrading, being laid on a table with my legs in the air. .It was the embarrassment of it all.But during the birth I was totally out of it.

I had pethidine, gas and air, then an epidural followed by two epidural top-ups. My mother had told me I was born between lunch and tea, which was good because she didn't miss any meals. To me the labour felt like a bad stomach upset.There were only two or three times when I lost it, which was when they made me lie on my back to be examined. In hospital they gave me a thing for gas and air, but I didn't bother with it; I was too busy breathing, which was brilliant for pain relief.After the birth I felt that it was an amazing achievement I felt so important, as if I could do anything It put everything else that I've ever done in the shade. They put me on a table and attached a ventouse machine to the baby.

I felt totally processed; it was a loss of self, of my authority.Pain in childbirth must be linked to how you expect it to be. I had a water pool at home and I used a Tens machine, which is supposed to stimulate your endorphins. I certainly felt high: my husband says I was really funny and everybody around me was in hysterics.The first stage lasted 10 hours, followed by two and a half hours of pushing, at which point they said I had to go into hospital. Gabriel was born 10 minutes later and I was home again two hours after that, so they wrote it down as a home birth.While I was at home it was my show and I was running it, but once I was in hospital it was completely not my show.

I opted for a home birth with no drugs.I had a fantastic labour and came out of it with a grin from ear to ear, thinking 'Wow!' It hurt like mad but it was hugely exciting; I felt I was achieving something amazing. But I moved from a position of ignorance to being well informed, and eventually decided that being in hospital was not the best way to deal with birth, which is not an illness. the doctor came in to do me, and then in the next five minutes went next door." She concluded: "There is still not enough personalisation to the care."As for Dr Morris herself, mother of a five-year-old child delivered by emergency Caesarean: "I put myself in the Functional category."Leader, page 15'I felt I was achieving something amazing'HERO WOMANAnn Batanero, 34, a solicitor, gave birth to Gabriel 14 months ago.Before I was pregnant I thought birth would be horrendous; they could throw every drug in the book at me. I would want to pull a sheet up over myself."The reality of birth was often distressing, and Dr Morris said many Princesses tried to block it off, or said they would never go through it again.

Attempting to maintain composure, some blamed their negative experiences on fate, chance or God.Despite the Department of Health's commitment to allowing people to choose the sort of birth they want, Dr Morris reported that all those in her survey gave birth in hospital, despite some of them having expressed a preference for home births Others talked of being on a "conveyor belt ... She conforms to the stereotype of the feminine."A typical comment was: "You are so exposed ... We were watching a video and the woman was laid there and from her boobs upwards was all that was covered. "She is someone who wants to be the good girl and to remain in control," said Dr Morris.